Alright, here we go! (Boo laughs) It’s time to look bag at the biggest animations *disasters* in recent memory — Even though we generally have so much innovation and variety today in our Western cartoons. Among that awe-inspiring animation is some of the most… Unpleasant… Vile, ugly, demented, annoying cartoons we’ve *ever* seen in cartoon history! Combining all of the darkness of the past with the present into one gargantuan conglomerate… Of *PURE Animation EVIL*!!!! Out of all the networks, these are the modern cartoons I find to be the worst of the worst. We’ll revisit a few cartoons, as well as checking out some new cartoons. So let’s take a look at the “Top 10 *WORST* Modern Cartoons!” To make this list, a cartoon has to be made between 2010, and 2016. And, as a thing always important to say, if you do like these cartoons, that’s great! It’s just my *silly* personal opinion, and it’s great that you can see something in these cartoons [that I can’t]. Anyway, let’s do this countdown! Number ten… “Sanjay and Craig” This show *barely* escapes being on the top 10 worst Nickelodeon shows! If there hadn’t been so many *bad* sitcoms, it most certainly would’ve been there! (Utterly disgusted) “Sanjay and Craig” is a more… reserved(?) [version of] “Breadwinners.” With, somehow, more fart jokes! Have you ever revelled at how entertaining other people in the hospital emergency ward[/room] are? See, most people would say, “Of course not! What the hell is wrong with you!?” But the ever-tasteless, butt-obsessed “Sanjay and Craig” revels in its own filth! For example, the first episode is based in the Hospital Ward, as [Sanjay’s] mother does a… “Butt-transplant.” This leaves Sanjay and Craig to go rampant. Making fun of the sick, injured and… Licking people’s overgrown warts? WHAT!? Sanjay: (In a demented and excited tone) I have never seen anything to.. *AMAZING!* Strider: The only real plus I can think of is that… The voice acting is annoying but it’s okay on a technical level– And the animation isn’t *terrible*… I mean, it’s still pug fugly to look at! But they’re very good at animating vomit inducing scenes and… Some people like that right?
[“1000 Ways to Die” on “Pukie Suki” if you must know.] And the “story” alone is so completely stupid ad nonsensical… You’ll likely lose brain cells simply by being within 100 meters of someone watching this hideous slogfest! I feel like this is one of the modern cartoons that *IS* making kids stupider! One… *Butt-transplant* joke at a time! Unless you want a headache or to lose your appetite, skip this one at all costs. And for — (Extended wretching) And for — (A vomit war of the characters) Alright! Shut up you two! And for Pete’s sake, encourage younger viewers to watch something *slightly* less stupid! Like TV static! Aaand for number 9… “Teen Titans Go!” [The brightly colored one people hate] Again [See “Top 10 Worst Cartoon Network Shows”] I have talked about “Teen Titans Go!” before, so I’ll keep it brief. From a technical perspective, this cartoon isn’t terrible. I mean, the animation is at least colourful, even if it’s lazy and choppy… It’s just that it’s hard not to compare it to the innovation of the original “Teen Titans” and not feel… *Violated* at its sheer vapid stupidity! I heard rumors recently that the creator of “Teen Titans Go!” publically admitted… That he knew this cartoon was incredibly stupid! The reason he said it was stupid? Well, kids are his audience! And why should he bother creating animation, plots, & dialogue that challenges our kids… When he can just make garbage! Windows Vista Cyborg: She gonna eat it! Cane Toad Beast Boy: Mm-mmm! She’s gonna eat it! Strider: “Teen Titans Go!” wouldn’t be such a tragedy in animation history if it [wasn’t so popular for this long]! What devious power gives “Teen Titans Go!” its endless influence over so many young viewers? Is it the bright colors? The loud intro? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst cartoon in the world. I mean, if the characters in this cartoon didn’t feel like they’d all been replaced by… Mentally challenged [chibi-versions], I think I could forgive it a bit more. But every episode just feels like a new insult to a young viewer’s intelligence! I’ve mentioned the sandwich episode, but did I mention the episode about the wonders of the bathroom!? Or, a talking boil on Starfire’s belly-button? Village Idiot Starfire: (Adoring) A little space parasite! Strider: I swear, each one just gets worse than the last! CN does a few other bad shows. But these other bad cartoons at least of the advantage of not crapping on one of the greatest [CN] shows [ever]. But hey you have probably heard all about “Teen Titans Go!” before, so I won’t dwell on the show anymore. Number 8… “Wild Grinders” A cartoon based on the life of a.. skateboarder and a… Reality TV Star. What a winning combination for a cartoon! How do these cartoons manage to just keep getting stupider? Or am I just getting stupider watching them? Just look at how *THRILLED* this guy is! I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so dead inside on a poster before! (Uninterested) Get ready for thrills and hijinks, as the wacky pre-teen Lil’ Ron goes on.. all sorts of adventures. Ranging from (sarcastic high interest) his big sister forcing him not to skate for a week… (Still sarcastic high interest) *A WHOLE WEEK*! Or… (sarcastic gasp) (Couldn’t care less) *Finding the greatest skate spot in town*! Or playing… (Annoyed by stupidity) Gnarly-Craft. Oh that’s just… gnarly. (Groans in defeat) “Rocket Power” at least had a creative animation style; I mean, I didn’t like it. But it was still an *improvement* over this! The animation itself is just that perfect example of ugly, and lazy computer animation. “Wild Grinders” is among the most forgettable cartoons Nickelodeon has *ever* made! These kids just look like… LEGO Blocks! It’s just… UGH! Gnarly-Craft! And the seventh worst is… “Pickle and Peanut” Oh, come on! Are you sure? Maybe it was made in 2009! I bet it’s disqualified from this list! Dammit, Disney! There’s this connection with Disney I just don’t understand! I mean, we’ve got the beauty, unforgettable characters, and endless mystery of “Gravity Falls” Then… “Pickle and Peanut.” We’ve got the sheer emotional depth from the struggles to overcome a life of prejudice in “Zootopia.” And then, “Pickle and Peanut!” Where!? Where’s the connection!? How!? How can this thing be… *WALT Disney*!? The animation looks like.. Picasso had a cocaine obsessed illegitimate lovechild. *All* the other Disney Channel shows… Honestly look pretty good compared to this cartoon/live action bomb wreckage! This cartoon makes “Uncle Grandpa” look like an emotional, epic, beautifully driven masterpiece! At least “Uncle Grandpa” had a constant stream of creative, if bizarre, nonsensical visuals! “Pickle and Peanut” just screams tacky, and lazy, and “couldn’t be stuffed.” More often than not… The images just seem to be whatever stock images have lying around. And the intro honestly sounds more like a 4 year-old’s shopping list than a nationally broadcasted cartoon! Intro: Yogurt, kicks, fries, smart phones, hot tubs, yeah. Shades, bagels, grills, airbrush, Chrome, blanket Strider: The only positive I can see to “Pickle and Peanut” is, well, there’s only 15 eisodes so far! Which means less episodes for us to witness the horror of! (Purified sarcasm) OH no! I am out of footage! (Trying to hide excitement) I guess we’ll have to move on! Yay! Number six… “Almost Naked Animals” (Theme song starts making random noises) (Thud of possible physical injury) Oh GAWD no! What are we watching now? This cartoon is about animals shaved down to the skin. And you probably would’ve been happier if you’d never known that. Sorry. You know how traditionally we put *FUR* on our animals? Well, the creators of this cartoon “thought” … “Pfft! Screw that! The animals would look way better if they were shaved down to the skin! That way they look like feral, malformed nuclear experiments! I hear the kids are into that “nuclear apocalypse abomination” look nowadays! Even if the kids were.. *SOMEHOW* into that look… The animals are so badly drawn that half the time I thought they were just… The mishaped cousins of The Brothers Grunt! And the colour scheme, wh-what do you call this!? Toilet entrails swirl!? I’ve heard the demographic for this cartoon is 4-6, so why did they give these female [almost] naked animals… Lady parts? Like, very visible lady parts that stick out of their bras! And… crotch jokes for that matter! Howie: (In whispered pain) Check… please. Strider: So clearly, this isn’t aimed at a young demographic! Yet its jokes are so juvenile and ridiculous that it’s clearly not aimed at an older demographic. So, was “Almost Naked Animals” aimed at a demographic that doesn’t exist!? Has the demographic for this cartoon not yet been conceived by science!? So… the story I think is… The hairless dog abomination is the manager of a hotel called… “Banana Cabana?” And, I think that’s it actually. Three seasons and that’s the entire premise. The rest is filled with slobber jokes, fart jokes, soiled underwear jokes, crotch jokes, and… Any other type of toilet joke you can think of that an [audience] would — *Pelt* a comedian with tomatoes for making! The only minor plus is… The voice acting is acceptably tollerable? It takes a good, solid 30 seconds before the voice acting makes me want to plow my head into the wall! But it didn’t stop there! The creator of this show’s handiwork wasn’t done yet! He went on to create some of the greatest disasters in Disney animation industry! We have here: The ‘mastermind’ behind “Fish Hooks” — And he followed that dead fish up with… “Pickle and Peanut!” So you’re telling me this guy made one cartoon with abysmal ratings… Then went on to create another cartoon with abysmal ratings… And then was greenlit to go on and create a *third* cartoon *for the same network* with abysmal ratings!? Is this guy some sort of… Animation supervillain? Do we need to summon Captain Planet to stop this guy? I’d recommend avoiding “Almost Naked Animals.” Whoever you are, you are the wrong demographic for it. Number five… “My Life Me” I’ve never been so impressed by so many negative qualities for a cartoon being… Thrown in my face all at once! I was suddenly hit with obnoxious voice acting, a bland script, a terrible soundtrack… Lazy animation that is simply a very unappealing, unaffectionate rip-off of anime style… With absolutely no creativity or thought behind it! (Cringe-inducingly horrendous voice-acted laugh that causes lightning to strike) I’m somehow bored, annoyed, and offended all at once with I watch “My Life Me.” Even the title doesn’t have any coherence to it! Did they just think incoherent, *bad* English was cool? I’m not kidding about the animation either. It’s so half-assed that most of the time I can’t even identify the *gender* of the characters! All of the characters are constantly mugging to the camera as though they thing they’re being hilarious — And stylish! Just *listen* to this guy’s voice for *FIVE SECONDS*… And then tell me you don’t want to hear everyone who worked on this show *fired*! (Incoherently bad “singing” that people *without* audio processing issues would have difficulty understanding) (Lightsaber drawn by Phantom Strider) Strider: As for plusses to this show… Well, it is over very quickly! Each episode is only about 11 minutes! I can’t begin to tell you how relieving that was! “My Life Me” … Jeebus that’s a stupid title. I-it’s a shockingly lazy, bad, unaffectionate, shameless anime rip-off — that makes the ugliest cereal box anime I’ve ever seen look stellar and beautiful by comparison! Bad scripts, bad stories, no consistency, just (frustrated grunt) definitely avoid! Aaand for number 4… “Scaredy Squirrel” (Showing enthusiasm) If you’re looking for clever jokes, smooth animation, and solid voice acting… Then you’re looking (Enthusiasm drops dead) in the wrong place. “Scaredy Squirrel” is an all-out assault on your eyes and ears… And will not rest until you’ve either changed the channel, or smashed your TV! Let’s start with this intro. (A high pitched and quarter-baked poorly done Scat Intro plays instead of any actual lyrics. Emphasis on scat.) (Strider groans in vivid frustration) What devious, unscrupulous lunatic designed this ear assault!? It sounds like a wailing cat singing karaoke through my speakers! “Scaredy Squirrel” is another example of lazy Flash animation. Cartoon animation was done up on a computer *just* well-enough to look passable to children. But completely uninspired and bland. Each and every character in this show is just more annoying than the next! And somehow, a human being, possibly even two, managed to put together 52 of these episodes! I just find it astonishing when creators can go through *that* many episodes, without ever actually… *Noticing* the animation they’re making could be used in a weaponized assault on riots! (Characters all taking turns screaming for 8 ½ seconds) Squirrel: Wait. Why are you screaming? Strider: This is a modern cartoon made in 2010. So how could they *not notice* that they were getting consistent 1/10 ratings and not think — “Hey, we’re 50 episodes in! What the hell is wrong with us!?” If I never see this ear-piercing, annoying squirrel again, I will be a much cheerier person. And for number 3… “Breadwinners” It can’t not be mentioned, I’m sorry. I know I’ve talked about this cartoon before… But as long as it’s still being aired, I just can’t *NOT* talk about this lumbering animation trainwreck! “Breadwinners” continues to be a challenge to watch even in 5 minute short viewings. I realize there is an audience out there for this pandering, hyperactive cartoon disaster… But I can certainly say I *still* do not understand the appeal at all. Even a thing like “Pickle & Peanut,” I can kinda see it as a tacky/teen replacement of “SpongeBob Squarepants.” But I just can’t comprehend the appeal of “Breadwinners.” I say this because it is being produced by Nickelodeon in the truckloads! It’s bringing Nickelodeon in the cash! I just don’t understand how! Do only actual ducks watch this show? Is the intro secretly a ritual for summoning demonic spirits? “Breadwinners” has twisted morals, it’s bizarrely violent for its 5 year-old demographic… It’s mind-numbingly vapid, it’s got endless gross out jokes… And Flash Animation so lazy that it actually makes “Uncle Grandpa” look like “Citizen Kane!” This is *the most* annoying cartoon Nickelodeon has ever produced! And that is against some *stiff* competition! I’ll get you next time “Breadwinners.” Next time! And the second worst modern cartoon is… “Allen Gregory” Can you survive *the torment* that is “Allen Gregory?” I think I coughed up a bit of blood, but I remain standing. This show received *ENORMOUSLY* negative reviews and was quickly cancelled by FOX after 7 episodes! And it is a relief to see how bad it did! Because this show is truly in that special league of *terrible*! It is among the worst cartoons I have *ever* seen! You know what’s truly relatable? A 7 year-old boy who is so pretentious, precocious, and over-priveledged…. That I wanted to see him set on fire by 12 seconds in. Allen: Thank you for coming everyone, please lower your voices, I’m speaking. Oh, Chloe’s here. And Julie hasn’t found her way back into the crowd yet… I apologize folks, she’s making this incredibly uncomfortable. She’s pretty much the worst person. Anyway, back to me! Strider: He didn’t even need to finish a sentence. The second this kid opened his mouth, I knew I was looking at one of the worst modern cartoons ever made! Our “hero” Allen Gregory is forced to attend Elementary School due to… The Recession! And our “hero” Allen goes onto spread his nauseating presence to all the other kids at school. Was this cartoon specifically made for the 0.1% of first world kids that could actually relate to being this… Revoltingly elitist!? This is another of those cartoons that falls into the ever lovely… “Adult” cartoon category! But only because kids deserve smarter shows than this! Allen: I don’t care what that filthy whore said! Strider: I was more intellectually stimulated by… “Dora the Explorer!” And by the 10 minute mark, we’ve somehow gone from tolerating [Allen’s] nauseating presence to watching his… Sexual fantasies about his elderly, overweight principal. Wow… This is just… wrong on… every level I can conceive in my traumatized emotional state right now. It took me 3 episodes of “Steven Universe” to exorcise this one out of my mind — Before I stopped feeling like upchucking my lunch. 7 episodes managed to be made for this pile of garbage! And that was 7 episodes more than the writers were capable of handling! And before we get to number one, I’d like to give a couple of quick [dis]honorable mentions. “Mr. Pickles” This one [does belong] on the list, & I stand by keeping “Mr. Pickles” on my […] “Worst Cartoons of All Time.” But I’ve also talked about it a couple of times before, so I decided not to give this… *Fevered* animation nightmare any more attention. “King Star King” In case you missed my thoughts on this one, it’s basically an ugly, visual crapfest– That is such an over-sexualized drug trip that is makes me wonder if someone actually found this show… “Sexy” somehow. But hey, who knows and who cares? Their business. “Uncle Granda” I’ve actually mellowed a lot to “Uncle Grandpa.” And tend to appreciate its animation and good messages now. It doesn’t make much sense, and I still wouldn’t recommend it… But I don’t think it’s quite among the absolute worst.
[***PLEASE PAUSE TO READ THIS!!!*** Seizure inducing bright/flashing visuals ahead, skip to 18:46 for safe visuals.] “[The] Problem Solverz” I admit, it’s a seizure inducing ugly-fest, but I actually thought the voice-acting was okay. It’s certainly good by… “Worst Cartoon” standards. I mean, hey, we even get the voice of Bender in here. Fancy British Dog: Greetings Problem Solverz. Strider: Just maybe turn your moniter off when watching. And with those said, here we go… And without a doubt, the number 1 *WORST* Modern cartoon is… [***PLEASE PAUSE TO READ THIS!*** The final entry has animated gore, excessive violence, vomit, and nightmarish visuals that the show is infamous for! Watch at your own will! Skip to 21:38 to avoid all of it.] Modern “Family Guy” 2010-[this video’s production and probably beyond] My *hatred* for this cartoon knows no bounds. I realize a lot of people like this show, and that’s fine. But personally, I think it is the worst nightmare of modern animation we’ve had in the last 5 years. Everything this show *stands* for, everything within the “spirit” of this show… The only cartoon I can compare its low-brow, artless, crass, empty, nihilistic “spirit” to is “Mr. Pickles.” But that at least was just a low-budget, small team Adult Swim experiment. “Family Guy” is a very carefully planned high budget show, with a full team of bizarrely cruel writers behind it. Every single character that might have been likable years ago has just become so… Anger-inducing in today’s Modern “Family Guy” that I can’t feel a shred of interest in any of them! For example: Relatively nice, balanced, inquisitive Liberal… Complete jerk. Redeemable father… Psychopath. The only character that I can kind of think of that is more interesting than he used to be is Stewie. [He] went from a stereotypical Bond Villain to a well-rounded quirky guy. But even then, that’s only when Seth’s not using him as a soap box or when he’s not… *MURDERING* people! I know it’s mostly just me, but I really do despise everything that has become of this show! Until I did the “Top 10 Worst Family Guy Episodes,” I had no idea how much filth Modern “Family Guy” has spread! Though the earlier episodes certainly had their gems, by the time we were at Season 13… All the brightness, decency, and class this show might have once had was long gone! Stewie: Brian, why does everything you touch turn to garbage? Strider: Watching these modern seasons of “Family Guy” was the most… Dark, laborious, exhausting set of shows I ever watched through! After I did the “Worst Family Guy,” I swore never to watch this cartoon again, and except for this, obviously… I plan to stand by that. I often find it hard to [see] the voice actors in the studio saying some of these lines with a good conscience. Making fun of the handicapped? Suicide jokes? Domestic violence jokes? Assaulting women with a laugh? There’s something to controversial jokes if they’re done well… But these shows seem to lose the effect of shock humor. Seth, you’re a really talented guy, but it is time to end “Family Guy.” I’d take your new racist cartoon “Bordertown” over this crap. In my opinion, “Family Guy” remains the biggest disgrace to modern animation that is still running. Pardon me if I’ve gotten a bit overly serious, I know some people like this show. But.. “Family Guy” just has this way of making me lose my sense of humor. But when you look at the vast majority of cartoons, I honestly didn’t have that many that qualified for this list. I mean, looking back over the years, we’ve gone from the 80’s “Transformers” era… To the 90’s “Ninja Turtles” cereal box sell-out era… To the magic of the 21st-Century Western cartoons we have today. And so many of our cartoons are packed with endless ideas… New perspectives for looking at the world, and awe-inspiring new ways to tell their stories! And I think from here on in, we get to watch the animation universe shine! Do you think I missed a few other cartoons? If you feel like another cartoon should have been on the list, feel free to put them in the comments. And as always, thanks for watching! And I’ll see you next time! Subtitled by Jadrek Myers. Comissioned by Phantom Strider.