(Strider laughs darkly) (screaming) – [Strider] Good old Cartoon Network has given us some timeless cartoons over the last couple of decades. But they’ve also had their share of truly… BAD shows. Often, Cartoon Network frantically hid away these vile experiments gone wrong. Desperately attempting to draw all our attention away from them. Some of these shows are painfully pandering, incredibly BORING, or just plain ugly! So, we’re gonna check them out today. So let’s take a look at the Top 10 Worst Cartoon Network shows of all time. As always, if you do like these shows, that’s great. It’s nice that you can enjoy something that I just can’t. And in the end, it’s just my silly personal opinion. With that said, onto the countdown. Number ten… Uncle Grandpa. This cartoon seems to make its way into a lot of worst lists. And I can definitely see why! But I discovered it has a huge cult following, so it must have… something that I’m not seeing. The entire show is like seeing Rebecca Sugar’s hyperactive, psychotic brother on LSD. In case you don’t know the… stellar plot to this show, what essentially happens in each episode is, Uncle Grandpa goes around to children’s houses every day to… “check up” on them. He carries a fanny pack that talks to children and lives in his van. Am I the only one finding this concept really creepy? – I’m your Uncle Grandpa! – He’s not just YOUR Uncle Grandpa, he’s everyone in the world’s uncle and grandpa! And when he comes to visit, it’s sure to be a time you’ll never forget. – Blaaaargh… (arms popping) – [Strider] It doesn’t help that he already looks like he just escaped from the looney bin. Uncle Grandpa himself is not a pleasant character to watch. He’s INTENSELY aggrivating. And I think the only way I could laugh at him was if he was run over by a steamroller. They even did a crossover with Steven Universe at one point. as though mixing gold with sewage would make it slightly more tolerable. But Uncle Grandpa is so BAD that it managed to make Steven Universe actually bad. This is the ONLY Steven Universe episode I have not watched. I watched it for one minute and closed it. removing it from my library and never looking at it again. This cartoon is so astonishingly awful that it can manage to soil the record of one of my favorite cartoons of all time! Clearly, though, I’m in the minority, as this sewage pipe of a show has leaked out four more seasons. To be honest, this show is very high on the list because, as surreal and bad as it is, I like the good messages behind each episode. Personally, I don’t recommend this show. – How is this even possible?! – Don’t worry, bro, none of this is canon. But this is! (metal slamming) – [Strider] And for number nine… Supernoobs. Fortunately this show was cancelled after 13 episodes, and ya wonder why? Even the name of this show sounds like it’s trying to appeal to the younger generations. And the title of each show is a… “clever” “play” on the word “noob”. Except, it’s not clever! Who keeps greenlighting these pandering heaps of bile? And don’t forget, they’ve got… BATTLE BALLS to fight ALIEN NINJAS. Yeah… The word “noobie” had a kind of charm to it when I first heard it being tossed around in MMORPGs 13 years ago.
[2002 at time of upload] It has now become a word that makes me want to pull my hair out in fury because of shows like this! – It’s a play on words. – [Strider] These kids are painfully-overdone stereotypes. You’ve got the jock, the nerd, the “coooool” kid… It’s just one big stereotype parade. Admittedly, this one is pretty high on the list because the animation is actually okay. Its CG isn’t too lazy and it’s pleasant enough to look at. But mostly, it’s a bland, tasteless cement mix of stereotypes, desperately trying to appeal to the young teen demographic. Number eight… Problem Solverz. The first thing you may notice about Problem Solverz is that its animation is incredibly ugly to look at. to the point where I lost my appetite just by watching the first episode. The only real plus I can give this cartoon is that its voice acting isn’t absolutely terrible. I mean, sure, it’s not GOOD, but it’s passable by… 1980’s anime dub standards. Our three main… people? They might be aliens. I can’t quite tell– go around solving surreal problems like a roller coaster that drives people forward in time. I admit that concept is kind of creative. But good god, how can I care when the show is so ugly? We have some sort of… Mud monster? A guy that looks like a fish-human hybrid, and by far the ugliest animation of a human I’ve ever seen. – I took my elementary school class to the weird amusement park. They all went on the roller coaster (rattling)
and came back like this! (kids chattering) – [Horace] Jeez, they’re all like a hundred! – Were they on it 93 years? – NO!!! – [Strider] Something about those faces is just not right. I mean, look at this hideous thing! I can’t even concentrate on what they’re saying because I’m so revolted at the horrendous animation. Problem Solverz is just a mess. It’s tedious, it’s ugly, I’d definitely skip over it. Number seven… Johnny Test. Originally, this was going on my worst cartoons list, because this show REALLY annoys me. I mean, It is definitely the most forgettable, teen-pandering garbage we’ve ever been given on Cartoon Network. – Don’t worry, psycho sisters! (punching sounds)
With my new ninja prowess, there’s no way Bling-Bling Boy can stop me! – [Strider] And at this point, that’s against some stiff competition. Everything about the annoying main character looks like it’s ticking some executive’s box, for appealing to the young crowd. (deepens voice)
Fiery hair! Turbo-charged backpack! A talking dog! Sticking it to those stupid parental authority figures! A messy room! Yes, I hear those kids have messy rooms nowadays! (normal voice)
That pretentious, self-entitled, overprivileged, smug, incredibly annoying smile, (Strider growls) I just wanna smack this kid, and he hasn’t even said anything yet! Did anyone else notice that the main theme is a blatant rip-off of Green Day’s “American Idiot”? ♪ A head of fiery hair and a turbo-charged backpack (electric guitar) ♪ (Johnny Test) ♪ His genius sisters use him like a lab rat ♪ (Johnny Test) – [Strider] Except much less pleasant to listen to. They could not even come up with their own original jingle! Even the TITLE of this show sounds like a ripoff of Cartoon Network’s Johnny Quest. Johnny himself, the main character, is an obnoxious, overprivileged, self-absorbed showoff. ‘Cuz you know, that’s relatable and charming! – [Johnny] …behind! Power poots, go! (flatulence) (fire hissing) – [Strider] And there’s now over 91 episodes of this show! So clearly they’re appealing to… under-seven-year-olds? Maybe they’re fascinated by the bright colors. I just don’t see how else this mindless, pandering junk could stay on the air so long. I recommend you keep yourself, and especially any younger viewers, far away from this show. It’s formulaic. It’s dull. It’s obnoxious. And it’s just meant to bring the “young, hip crowd” with no innovation whatsoever. Number six… Secret Mountains Fort Awesome. At least they’re trying to do something original in this ugly crash site of a cartoon. You remember that rancid load of bile that was Uncle Grandpa? Well, its “highly-acclaimed” creator made this as his original creation. Because, for some reason, an executive decided this show needed to be aired. If there’s any hope for humanity, that executive is now fired. What I didn’t realize that was, Uncle Grandpa was actually an IMPROVEMENT over this ugly tragedy of animation. If you manage to make a cartoon where Uncle Grandpa is actually a significant improvement, you know you should never work in animation again. This collection of doodles is just one big eyesore. The main characters consist of a… giant butt monster named Fart– I wish I was kidding– and a green thing covered in festering acne. And a half-naked purple… thing in its underwear. The voice acting in this one is ABYSMAL, and it made me question my grip on my sanity! – [Slog] Yeah, who am I?!
– [Gweelok] D’oh… (cartoonish thunk) You Disgustoids turn down those awesome jams
– Whoa. – and stop having fun! – [Strider] I THINK the cartoon is meant to be about these five monsters trying to live in the human world? The first episode mainly revolves around the toilet and pizza… (flatulence in rhythm with “speech”)
– Butt butt? Butt? – Fart’s right– – [Strider] Ya get it? Because he IS a butt. And he said “butt”. Now he’s confused. I’ve seen people do reviews of this show and they never really seem like REVIEWS. They seem more like watching the viewers’ breakdown of disillusionment as they fall into a deep pit of despair about the sad state of public broadcasts! Secret Mountains Fort Awesome is ugly, lazy, and BORING. If you see this rancid trash bag of a cartoon, by all means, do not watch it. Number five… (thunder)
King Star King. I’ve talked before about King Star King in my worst cartoons list, so I’ll try to keep it brief. It’s basically a grotesque, bizarre acid trip, and I do strongly suspect someone is gaining personal gratification from it. I mean, there’s lots of flopping lady parts that are about as sexy as getting a dental filling. It’s almost like the animators were having a psychotic breakdown as they made it. Every moment is someone being ripped apart or swallowed or vomited. It’s among the ugliest animation I’ve watched, as well as some of the most unpleasant. Every moment is nonsensical, hyper-sexualized ugly imagery. Personally, I’d avoid this one like the plague. And for number four… Teen Titans Go… At first when I heard about this show, I thought, “A sequel to Teen Titans? Oh come on, how bad could it be?” It’s a Teen Titans sequel! That show was awesome!” (record scratch) (Strider shouts) Oh god, I’m blind! The colors! They’re so blindingly bright! Remember that detailed, highly-stylized, and incredibly charming show on Cartoon Network called Teen Titans? Well, one day, those brilliant CN executives said, “Hey, let’s replace all the smart writing, and beautiful action scenes and clever jokes and human drama with painfully-annoying chibi characters in an incredibly corny, clumsy, anime-esque animation.” “Absolutely! In fact, let’s make three seasons of it!” You remember how Teen Titans had that brilliant, unique art style that was an amazing hybrid of Western and Japanese animation? That’s been replaced. With doodle CG drawings that look like they were done up in five minutes. – I’d drive across the country in a car that smelled like Cyborg’s BO for this sandwich! Ha ha! – Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep me away from this sandwich! – [Strider] Did they specifically say to the original voice actors, “we need you to talk more obnoxiously”? Was the voice director just recording the banter in the lunch cafeteria? The first episode is about how good Robin’s sandwiches are! We have gone from the exploration of a team member’s deep aggression and depression to… the joy of eating a sandwich. Did they just fire every original writer? And replace them with chimpanzees? Good god. This ten-minute episode just goes on and ON about how much they love these sandwiches! And I’m only 1 minute and 38 seconds in! And now they’re going on a quest to find the… ancient sandwich of power… This is just UNBELIEVABLY stupid. Now they’re fighting over who gets the first bite. Oh jeebus… (Titans arguing over each other) – [Strider] How about we make the NEXT episode about… (gasps) what will the Teen Titans get each other for Christmas! The more I watch these stupid plots, the more stupid I felt! The vapid dialogue, the horrible animation, the blindingly-bright colors, the… bad rapping? – [Cyborg] I want
– [Beast Boy] Pie. When I say yummy, you say pie. – [Strider] Teen Titans Go didn’t just destroy a classic Cartoon Network show, it tore it up, spat on it, then shat on it. By all means I recommend Teen Titans original. However, do not watch Teen Titans Go. Number three… Mr. Pickles… I’ve already mentioned this one in my worst cartoons as well, so I won’t dedicate too much time to it. Cartoon Network’s [adult swim] was the genius behind this title. As well as it having some of the most ugly color schemes I’ve ever seen in a cartoon, the show itself is incredibly obnoxious, The entire cartoon itself is about on par with Family Guy’s worst moments. Shock humor is okay, but making 20 straight minutes of grossout animated violence just puzzles me. I mean, a person will die horribly and gruesomely or be painfully tortured to death and… that’s it? Where’s the punchline? What reaction is a person MEANT to have to these jokes? – Blood… -Eugh. – blood… MORE blood… – [Strider] The story is basically just about this satanic dog that just goes around… brutally murdering people. As well as that, the world this satanic dog lives in is nasty! The people and animals are all equally evil. It’s just, where’s the respite? Where is anything to LAUGH at in this horror? Mr. Pickles is nothing more than a cruel, grotesque, painful-to-watch experiment. An experiment that went horribly wrong. Number two… 12 Oz. Mouse. I originally thought Microsoft Paint was a program we only ever used when we were trying to kill five minutes. And just wanted to try out that cool spray paint function on a bunch of sticks and circles, but apparently, Cartoon Network now considers it a legitimate tool for animation. And boxes of cardboard are considered legitimate 3D. Which brings us to 12 Oz. Mouse. Just… Wow. This kind of animation could only make it onto [adult swim]. When they think absolutely no one is watching. I never pictured a professional animation studio could be this LAZY with their animation! With their everything. And the dialog actually manages to have less effort put into it than the animation! – Can I help you? – Can I help YOU. (clock ticking) – What do you do? – I do it all. (clock ticking) – Have a seat. – [Fitz] I will, because that’s something I can do. – Then do something. (clock ticking) – [Strider] And what’s worse is, I think it’s actually trying to be funny. I mean, they did include long, awkward silences. Clearly they thought something would get a laugh out of these… jokes? No, they’re not jokes. They’re just awkward dialog. There is no deeper meaning behind any of this. They were just being lazy and doing whatever popped into their head. And only a stoned executive would have greenlit this. Did the creators actually find this funny or even remotely interesting? More to the point, how did they expect fully-cognitively-functioning adults to not find this terrible? (Peanut Cop and Fitz laughing) – Ha ha ha! You so stoned, bruh, come here! (all laughing) – [Strider] Good god. It just keeps going! 12 Oz. Mouse is annoying, it’s pretentious, and more than anything else, it felt like zero effort was put into it. I can safely say, this is one of the most stupid shows I have ever seen. And I felt stupid for watching it! Don’t make the same mistake I did. I do not recommend this show. I thought that 12 Oz. Mouse was the worst, but it turns out there was one experiment by Cartoon Network that was even worse! But it was very quickly hidden away due to abysmally low ratings in the first few episodes. And believe it or not, it was designed for kids. And the number one worst Cartoon Network show of all time is… The High Fructose Adventures of the Annoying Orange. – La la la la la! La la la la– (loud thudding)
– [Orange] La la la la la la la! (Strider screams) – …the love of humanity, someone put me out of my misery! (loud thudding)
I can’t stand it anymore! (loud thudding)
I can’t stand it! – [Strider] Ugh… In case you don’t know about it, there’s this highly-annoying, painfully-popular channel on YouTube known as The Annoying Orange. Based on their views, a lot of people like this show. Somehow. But personally, I LOATHE it. The squealing voice, the uncanny, creepy mouths on the fruit, the laziness of the design. I despise it! So hey, our old favorite executive decided, “Let’s give the creator his own TV time slot on Cartoon Network.” Let me give you three seconds of the first pilot episode, to give you an idea of just how… unbelievably braindead this cartoon is. – I shall be merciful… – Merciful? I thought you said your name was Broccoli! (Orange laughing) – [Strider] I think it was meant to be a joke? I mean, he cackled inanely at the end. That probably means other people were expected to laugh? The only marginally tolerable part that doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out is the only human actor in the show. Probably because I was so horrified by the tongue-lolling abomination horror-fests in front of me. Nickelodeon may have given us Breadwinners, but this… This is in a league of its own aggrivating. You can watch ten frames and be disgusted! Every five seconds of the show is a new violation of my senses. Every time this… THING talks, I just want it to die! If at least one executive wasn’t fired for this show, there is no justice in this world. There is no justice in a world where this show is allowed to be on primetime TV. There’s a small section of YouTube that is made up of people who get a devastatingly, tragically large amount of views by screaming into their webcam. – WOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!! (glass breaking) – [Strider] I can safely say, these small parts of YouTube do not belong on public broadcast. This is a show I can watch for four seconds before his high-pitched squeal half-destroying my speakers forces me to close my browser in fury. The worst of Cartoon Network’s cartoons is better than this by far. At least there’s SOME creative consideration there, even if it’s bad. At least there’s original animation. But jeebus! I know there’s a crowd for this show, but I am certainly not in that crowd. And I just don’t personally understand how this show can appeal to people. Hearing this guy’s squealy voice gives me a migraine. It makes me want to destroy every orange I see after listening to this ear-piercing garbage. It’s hard even to track down any acknowledgements that Cartoon Network made this show. They made the show, and it bombed. Thank god. And they buried it away where they hoped no one would ever find it. And thank you, Internet. Thank you, WORLD for letting the Annoying Orange not extend its garbage beyond YouTube. (all screaming) I think I have a little more faith in humanity purely because this show bombed. It is the ugliest, most incredibly annoying, fury-inducing Cartoon Network show I have ever watched. It is an easy choice for the number one worst Cartoon Network show of all time. But fortunately, for MOST of these shows, Cartoon Network is clearly ashamed of them and tends to draw as little attention to them as possible. Most of these shows only have tiny time slots or are almost impossible to find. And honestly, there’s only a very small or very young dedicated crowd for these shows. Most of the time, Cartoon Network shows deserve a silver or gold medal as their shows continue to inspire me. – I’m all right. – [Strider] Do you think I missed a particularly bad one? I know there’s a couple of key bad ones that didn’t quite make the list, so feel free to let me know in the comments. And as always, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time.