(cheerful orchestral music) (upbeat rock music) – [Zack] John Smith. – [Justin] Boring. – Just like his name, boring. – I think John Smith is real smelly. Got some smegma buildup,
I’m not (bleep) John Smith. – When you come from a family of racists, it’s hard to change, but he changes. – Which is hot. – Boring, next. – [Chris] Prince from Snow
White looks like Liza Minnelli. – Yeah, he does look
like a porcelain doll. – He looks like a child. – He looks like Kris
Jenner, I wouldn’t do it. ♫ Hello, Cinderella, I’m here ♫ – I don’t know but he’s got the swagger of someone that’s hung. – Would you let him suck your dick? – No. – I would (bleep) Prince Charming. – [Chris] Prince Phillip’s dressed like it’s easy season three. – Dude, he looks like Bieber. – He looks just like Bieber. – He’s giving me a half chubby best. – Would you? – Would I wake up from a
deep slumber from his kiss? Maybe. Li Shang. – I gotta say, by Asian standards, this guy’s not a good-looking guy. – What? – He’s too strong for me. – I would feel turned on
if he thought I was hot. – We’d have great test tube babies. – Oh, you know what, though? He is rockin’ the man bun, which is before its time.
– [Zack] Yeah, that’s cool. – [Keith] It’s hard to judge an animal on its hotness, but let’s try. – I think Beast is hotter. – See the claws, see the teeth? – You don’t like it rough, Rodney? – Not like that, man, I wanna
walk away from my experience. – Is this guy a ging? – Yeah, it’s crazy that Disney made the bold choice of making him a ging. I prefer the Beast to Prince Adam. – I’ll tell you that he is the most ideal cuddle partner in the Disney universe. Flynn Rider, Tangled. – [Rodney] No. – I don’t know about this chin scruff. – No, he looks almost evil. That’s a thing.
– [Zack] No. Look it, that guy looks evil? That guy’s a freakin’ dreamboat. – [Zach] I don’t fight
people, but he seems like someone that I would
want to get into a fight with. – 100 percent. – He looks like a cross
between you and me though. – Oh, I get that. – Kristoff is definitely not hot. He’s a little chubby German boy. “Mama, I want more chocolate.” – He looks like everyone
I know from Minnesota. – I’m more into Olaf than Kristoff.
– [Rodney] I’m not. – [Justin] They gave him the shaggy hair ’cause he’s in this cold environment. Why didn’t they just give him a beard? – Because he’s too young.
– [Justin] That’s interesting, dude, they’d never give Disney characters a beard ’cause it looks creepy. – [Kevin] He looks pretty
handsome, I’d fuck him for sure. – He’s charming, he’s
got a sense of humor, delightful accent, and he plays music. He’s hot. – He is nicely build, but he’s not (bleep) huge like John Smith. – How do these people find
so much time to work out? – [Zach] Eric’s hot. – I question his motives
’cause when you wanna… – Hook up with a fish? – With a fish, that’s weird. – If you introduced me
to your new boyfriend and he looked like Prince
Eric, I wouldn’t trust him. – No, he’s got blue eyes and black hair. – He’s got a dog, he’s romantic. – Also, how come his dog couldn’t talk but all the sea animals could talk? – Aladdin wins me over ’cause he’s a “started from the bottom,
now we’re here” kinda dude. – Definitely the best. – I think Aladdin’s more
cute than he is hot. Look at him, look it, that’s cute. – I’d go on that magic carpet ride and I would not dare close my eyes. – I say you settle down with Aladdin. – And he knows how to rub a lamp. – I got a pretty big lamp too. – I have an accessible
and moderately-sized lamp. – I want to see a Disney movie where two peasants fall in love and neither of ’em become rich. – Yeah, why do they always gotta be a prince
– [Justin] Yeah, why? – [Zack] or a princess, why can’t it just be like, “Hey, I’m a banker”?