Michael: Way under the radar, they reintroduced chicken tenders at McDonald’s, right?
Jack: Oh yeah, that’s right. Michael: Because they had Chicken Selects for years, but they like, they stopped serving them like three years ago.
Alfredo: It was like- Alfredo: -buttermilk chicken?
Michael: Yeah. I was talking to Lindsay about, about- having a very serious, uh, conversation about McDonald’s, and uh, I was like “Yeah, they had fucking Chicken Selects.” And she was like, “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t- I don’t care. I’m not a loser.” And I was like, you don’t know about Chicken Selects?! And then I like informed her of the history of Chicken Selects, And I’m like, “Yeah, they don’t have anymore, blah blah blah blah blah.” That conversation ended, and I’m like, “Wait, wait, when did they get rid of them?” “Whatever happened to him?” And I literally Google like, McDonald’s Chicken Tenders-
Alfredo: It was like, “it’s back!” Michael: It was like one day ago.
*Alfredo laughs* McDonald’s has chicken tenders back. And I remember going- “OHHhhhHHHhhhHHH!!!!”
*laughter* And I was holding my phone, I’m like-
Alfredo: GET IN THE CAR! Michael: I was like, “I wasn’t even looking for it,” “But it’s here!” Alfredo: Drop the baby! Gavin: Can you explain to me the difference between a lovely nug, a Select and a tender? Michael: Well, the Select and the tender are pretty similar. A lovely nug is like, *small Michael noise*
Alfredo: It’s just a little- Alfredo: -tiny chicken.
Michael: Just a little nug. Like you know,
Jack: It’s- there’s the four shapes! Michael: You got the four shapes-
Jack: You have the boot and the-
Gavin: But you need like the- Gavin: -shit a chicken-?
Ryan: You know, there’s nothing lovely about the berm. Jack: They’re delicious.
Michael: It’s like their shit, Garbo chicken, that’s delicious. Jack: Yes. Yes.
Michael: I’m agreeing with everyone here. Michael: It’s like, “ugh- mmmm.”
*Jack laughs* Jack: Yeah, absolutely right.
Alfredo: You’re right, you’re right! Michael: The tenders are like real chicken meat. You can like, rip it open and there’s like chicken meat on the inside. They are legit delicious.
Alfredo: It’s good. Jack: Yeah.
Michael: So I started getting the- the buttermilk chickies. And I was like “Yeah! Yeah!” I was like, “I’m back! Chicken’s back!”
Alfredo: Yeah! I go to McDonald’s er- like last month, Like second week in December? Fuckin’ strolling through, I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll take the, uh, fucking chicken.” Like, “oh, we don’t have that anymore.” Michael: What, WHAT?!
Jack: Wait- Michael: You just put this out! And then like, not even like we’re sold out, But just like, we don’t have that.
Jack: Off the menu. Michael: Off the menu. Ryan: So you’re telling me this amazing chicken that you’ve just described to me, has reentered lives is now gone forever? Michael: No! It was gone then! Right so-
Jack: Bam-bam-bam! Michael: This is how ridiculous this is. So, so-
Ryan: This is a real rollercoaster ride. Michael: It’s a- it’s true! So I drove home thinking like, “Oh my god, what’s going on with the chicken? I don’t know.” *laughter*
Michael: “I… I have to find out-” Alfredo: He’s frazzled!
Michael: -once I get home.” Michael: So I get home, I take my phone out, I’m like, “What the fuck is going on with the fucking chicken?” The chicken has blown up.
*Jack laughing* I’m drooling. I’m dr- I’m salivating over this chicken!
Jack: He’s drooling! Michael: So, I looked it up, they came out and said like, McDonald’s whoever- they just stopped all chicken for like, three weeks. They’re like, “No more chicken! We’re gonna build up our chicken supplies,” “Then chicken comes back.” It’s now back.
Jack: All right! Michael: I was freaking out. I was like, “Tell me you didn’t just get rid of this chicken-” Alfredo: Oh, it’s the worst time to be a chicken right now.
Gavin: Yeah like,- Gavin: -a chicken hatches from an egg-
*laughter* Gavin: -a chicken hatches from an egg into a world where there’s a chicken shortage at McDonald’s?
Alfredo: Yeah. Gavin: That’s the worst time to be a chicken.
Michael: Yeah, and- and-
Alfredo: That’s the worst time to be a chicken! Michael: And even worse too, it’s not even like, I’m alive you’re dead. It’s like, I’m alive, and it’s like, “I’m gonna watch you grow before I kill you.”
*Ryan chuckles* Jack: It’s like “I’m gonna fatten you up, and then I’m gonna kill you.”