Dateline 1941 German troops continue their march toward Leningrad. The Japanese occupy Saigon. And the United States continues to … mull
it all over. Giggly Girl: What war? Meanwhile in London, the unending blitzkrieg continues. In response, Prime Minister Churchill has
travelled back in time and assembled the greatest scientific minds the world has ever known, in a last-ditch effort to turn the tides of the war. Nikola Tesla. Known pigeon enthusiast and master of electricity. Tapputi: the World’s First Chemist whose tonics and perfumes can cloud the minds of men. Charles Darwin has the ability to metamorphosize into any animal. But does his radical theory
of evolution hold any water? God only knows. Marie Curie: Mistress of Radiation. And she’s definitely a no-nonsense kind of gal. Sigmund Freud. We’re not really sure why he’s here. Freud: It’s because I have the power to control people’s sexual thoughts. Observe. And the newest member of the team: a 14 year old clone of Albert Einstein. Time is relative to this young man, allowing him to travel at super speeds! Together they form the Super Science Friends! Now let’s listen in as they prepare for their next daring adventure. Churchill: Alright Super Science Friends… This week we’re facing our greatest threat ever! Tesla: Patent infringement? Marie Curie: Male chauvinism? Einstein: That giant Hitlerbot that keeps trying to get in? No, it’s even worse! All of England’s apples… … are disappearing! These are the only apples left. You can barely make a decent cobbler out of this. Z3. Take us through it. Z3: Of course, Herr Churchill. I wish he wouldn’t call me that. I’ve traced the mysterious disappearance of apples to sometime in the late 1600’s. For some reason, someone or some thing has travelled to that moment and is systematically destroying them! Every Grannysmith… Every MacIntosh… And yes, even the Red Delicious… King of all the apples. Hmm. Perhaps the villain is harvesting the apples as an energy source to fuel some sort of apple powered Doomsday device! Darwin: Outrageous! This plague upon our apples could only mean the death of the bumblebees. We’ll find their little bee carcases strewn across the land! You need to go back in time and discover who is behind this. I really think that maybe Hitlerbot is a more… Tapputi: To the sciencemobile! Not so fast Albert! You know you’re not old enough to go on missions. Einstein: This E=MC sucks. I have to go to the bathroom. Flying Spaghetti Monster: Bye Freud! Good luck on your mission! So, whatever did you do? Well I had him flogged within an inch of his life of course! Children are more trouble than they’re worth. Quite right. Come here Darwin! Come here boy! The Super Science Friends have arrived safely in the past. Churchill: Excellent! Now pay close attention Albert. These people are professional researchers. Observe how they hunt for clues, not even letting the most minor detail go unnoticed. Goddammit. I’ll show YOU who’s not old enough. Where do we even begin? Finding some apples would be a good start. This part of the orchard seems completely devoid. Tapputi: First one to find an apple wins 10 minutes behind the cider shed with me! No apples here. No apples here. No apples here. No apples… gasp! It can’t be! Gasp! Isaac Newton! ♪ You are so cool, you don’t even know how your law of attraction meant to me deep down. ♪ Einstein: I’ve got to tell the others! They’re never going to believe it! Lasers? If that’s the case then we’re looking at technology far beyond our own. Which means whoever is meddling in this time… must be from … the future! Well I don’t mean our future. But THE future. The future future. Classic female hysteria. Guys! Guys!! Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god! You’re never going to believe it! Einstein? What are you doing here? Nevermind that! Listen! An apple orchard is no place for a young boy. Wait I’m telling you! If you needed help with your biology homework it could have waited until we got home. No no no no no no no … grrrrr! Look! Tapputi: Hey! You found the apples. You’re a little younger than what I usually go for, but I guess a deal’s a deal! It’s Isaac Newton! Besides totally being my hero since I was born, he’s also the father of modern physics! His theory of gravity changed the world! Which he thought of when an apple… …fell on his head! He’s even more majestic than I imagined. Stop breathing on me. Besides, Newton is totally over-rated. I mean, he still believes in alchemy. What the hell is that supposed to mean? What the devil are those? Abominations of nature! We better call this in. Z3! Is Churchill there? Hey Churchill. I think we found who’s been destroying the apples. My God! Z3. Analysis. One moment while I scan the timeline for a visual match. Data retrieved. They are future Soviet Cosmonauts originating from the mid 1950’s. The future? Extended analysis. I have recovered a propaganda film detailing their mission. Roll it! Soviet Narrator: Behold our brave Russian cosmonauts. Here in state of art training facility, they eagerly work day and night preparing to be first people ever going into space. Here they board Sputnik, which stupid Americans believe to be merely satellite when really is spaceship. It’s roomy interior features all comforts of home. Insignificant problems, such as solar radiation leaks are easily overcome. Observe how their strong Russian bodies quickly adapt to the rigours of space travel. Our brave cosmonauts will slingshot around red planet of Mars, and go back in time to stop Western understanding of physics from ever happening. Our cosmonauts will change course of history for the glory of Mother Russia. If their plan succeeds it will irreperably damage the course of human history and all that we know will cease to exist! The Super Science Friends must ensure that the apple hits Isaac Newton’s… Churchill: COMMIE SPACE ZOMBIES FROM THE FUTURE! Get em! You think you’ve won. But there’s one thing you’ve forgotten! That Winston Churchill is my mentor. And if there’s one thing he taught me, it’s to always… PACK A LUNCH! He’s going to do it! He just might do it. Almost there! Tapputi: Ha ha ha … it came right off! What the devil do we do now? Let’s get the hell out of here. Wait! How does it turn out? I need to check the history books! Hmm. Close enough. ♪ You are so cool, you don’t even know how your law of attraction meant to me deep down. You are so cool. I’m where I am right now because without you I’d be all on my… Ugh, did you see this episode? That is not what Marie Curie was like. Tell me about it! And that Nazi bomber at the beginning wasn’t even a model that was in service until like 1942! Not to mention that the apple falling on Isaac Newton’s head was a total myth! To think that the greatest discovery of all time had anything to do with… Music: You’re pulling me all the way to the ground
Your gravity’s too much to bear. My head’s starting to spin, just like a globe.
Tell me it’s something, something we share. These long years that passed, have kept us apart.
Why don’t you live closer to me? Our ideas are close, but so far away.
Why’d you believe in alchemy? You are so cool, you don’t even know how your law of attraction meant to me deep down. You are so cool. I’m where I am right now because without you I’d be all on my own. ♪