– I mean, it would just be nice if I could just, you know, come home from work. – Oh, I didn’t know that riding a horse wearing a tunic was a job [laughs]. I’m sorry. I seem to remember slaying a dragon for you. Does that ring any bells? Oh right, right. You slept through the hole thing– – [laughs] You know what? Like I lived it. It’s the only thing he talks about at every ball we ever go to, and we are never invited to anything anymore, because he’s so boring. It was 20 years ago– – It was a fucking dragon. Do you know how much shit I had to go through? Thorn forrest, fire– – [yawns] – There was a rock in my boot! – Statutory rape? I don’t know what that is. Why are you freaking out? He asked me how old we were when we got married. – I know. – I said I was 16. – Fuck. – Am I missing something? – Clearly. – I was this many… [whispers] that many. – We haven’t had sex, uh, since the incident. – [therapist]: What happened? – Well, we walked in on her father, and, uh, mrs. Pots… Just, going to town. – and she’s never on time. We are late for everything. – That is not fair. I’m not just getting myself ready for the ball, I have 7 other dwarfs that I have to get ready too. – He is my father. You need to respect him. – He needs to respect me. Me. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to put on a shirt to cover up those saucer sized nipples during a meal. Just one meal. – I think the worse part of it was when she said, “Try my grey stuff. It’s delicious.” Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes. You can’t unhear that. – All you have to do is squeeze yourself into some tights– – So here’s a thought. If you know that it’s going to take you 3 hours to get ready, start 3 hours earlier. Simple isn’t it, simple– – I fucking hate you. – Ohh. – Eat a apple, you son of a bitch. – You should see the fucking moobs on this guy. [whispers] hypnotic. Hypnotic. – Okay, every time I think about it, my stomach gets tied up in knots. I can’t breathe. Even the whisper– even the whisper of having to choose between them makes my heart ache. – Well you have to choose. We can’t keep going on like this. – [sigh] – Is it going to be pink, or is it going to be blue?