His name, is Arthur C. Nile and he’s my very old grandpa he has lived for as long as I can remember and my
great-great grandmother says that he has lived for as long as she can remember.
In sum, he’s very old and very grumpy he hasn’t been the same ever since my
grandma died. It was a very sad time for all especially for him
he’s very old school so he tried playing tough, but he didn’t fool me
he has been grumpier since. We loved grandma we still do, but sometimes I wish
I could bring some joy back to his heart. I really think I can help him, I saved a
lot of money for a computer. I think it’ll help him stay in touch with the
world [Music] All right, it’s time to see what he thinks. Hi
grandpa how’ve you been? Who are you? I’m your great-great granddaughter
son of Martha and Agnes from the Niles. I don’t know those people
They’re your grandsons grandpa you’re too old to remember, but you have a very
large family. Since you’ve outlived most of them I guess I understand why you
don’t know me. Perhaps if they’d visit me more often I’d remember them. You’re
right, perhaps if you weren’t such a portrait of the end of youth, they
wouldn’t hesitate to come as often as they do… they’re being selfish
nonetheless not coming to see you. You know I get why people don’t visit my old self it’s
not personal people see us as big babies with enough guts to call it as it
is if babies could complain as verbally as we do people wouldn’t be so eager to
have babies! I don’t get it grandpa you had a bunch of babies, why do you
complain about them? I did and that’s exactly why I complain about them. I’m a
little envious of babies right now they like me they don’t fend for themselves
and they require care. The difference between them and me is that babies
represent hope, possibility, what they can become
I represent futility and impending doom. Cheer up grandpa!
You’re not doom yet. Thank you. In fact I got something that might help you, come
on. Open it! A gift, oh my I hope it’s a pair of socks. Hmm what is
this… artifact? A computer. Hmm I can’t say that it’s a bad gift because I don’t know
what it is and it is a gift I’m supposed to like it to prevent from scarring you
for life, but I’m disappointed anyways. What does it do?
It’s only the place where you can let your imagination go as far as the wallet
can stretch. A place with unlimited possibilities for as long as Wi-Fi is
within reach. Connect our divide communities with your words. Create your
own. There are no borders between you and your neighbors. A whole universe to
explore, aren’t you excited! Sounds nonsensical! I’m not interested.
Come on grandpa do it for me, an adorable child. Should I do the favor to this random child that walked
into my home all right I think I’ll do it for you. You’re nice enough to bring
a gift to your elders. Usually people think so much about themselves, and their
own self-interests to worry about the people they love. So what hope can an
anti-social and forgotten old seal have. Thank you for remembering me. It’s
very kind. You’ve been nice enough to care about me least I can do is care
about you what is your name? Lana. It’s a beautiful name my name is
Arthur C. Nile. Don’t worry grandpa I know your name I’ll help you set up your
computer. All right, here we go child. Oh! Hi! I wasn’t expecting any company
here. The internet generation seems to have a very short attention span. Well,
congratulations to you. You managed to pay attention for a couple of minutes!
Let me tell you something before I lose you
Lana asked me to remind you to pay a subscription and something about liking
your fellow man, sharing your food, and punching a gong… to get notified in case
the commute needs help. I don’t know. Everything she said sounded like a
boring retreat. I won’t interrupt you longer. Get back to
the show. It’s free! All right, grandpa. First things first, to
use a computer you’ve got to think like one first you got to breathe, feel and
live like a computer. You’ve got to be a computer. All right, you ready?
Breathe in…and exhale zero zero one one zero Breathe in and exhale
zero zero one one zero. You got it? I don’t understand a single word out of
your mouth. First, how can I be something I’m not?
Second, how can I even think like something other than myself?
That is nonsense isn’t the point of a decent life to be comfortable with your
own skin. Let me tell you something grandma told me years that I had to
drop carbs and I never did. look I’m fine First, your carb consumption is alarming.
Second, yes being yourself is important, but I guess that what I’m trying to say
is, a computer is no different than you and me a computer is like us. Think about
it, what is the first thing we do every day? Live in fear? Wake up! Alright, so turn
on the computer so that it can wake up. Press that symbol that looks like a
semicircle and has a small line splitting it
Yaaass, now remember computers are all about processes grandpa. Like us, you’ve got to
do certain steps for it to work properly having breakfast is the most important
meal of the day right? That’s uncertain Gallager has fasted most of his life and
he’s strong as an ox. He trains the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Another thing, computers
unlike us are objective. They care about facts not about subjective matters like
Selena versus Kylie, Taylor vs. the World Millennials versus employment, plant vs.
zombies, Crocs versus decent clothing. You get the gist of it. They see
possibilities beyond our comprehension, taking that into consideration computers
as for the time-being are our faithful helpers. For the time
being? Well, Asimov’s laws are no good. Believing machines will not be sentient
it’s like believing your dream crush will reciprocate your love, trust me,
believing those statements grandpa is fooling yourself.
Alright, so now that’s on. What do I do? All I see is a fruit and a circle. You
wait. Like a soldier for the reload. Whoa! That was fast, will it get my soul in turn? No.
Now listen, like the story of the Sphinx you must answer the computer’s questions
what language do you prefer, to choose your answer, use your mouse to move
around the screen and interact with most of what you see in it.
Some boxes will require to use the keyboard, others don’t.
When I say click you’ll press with your fin the mouse and select a response.
Angles. Click. Great! Now what do I do? Input your Wi-Fi network and password.
What’s that? Wi-Fi stands for a wireless fidelity, that means you can connect to
the internet wirelessly from a particular area. In this case it would be
your house. What is the Internet? Internet is a network that connects all
of the computers in the world so that they can communicate, share information,
services, but it’s basically a place where everything goes. Like, Christmas
decorations on November 29th. That’s sounds dangerous.
Trust me grandpa it can be. Fortunately, you’ll be with me. Us youngsters got a
pretty good grasp of technology. Now continue, set up the Wi-Fi. Can’t you do
it for clumsy old man like myself. No. [Music] you you